Well... i've been running this race for 6 months now, can't believe i've made it this far... i'm surprised in myself, it seems like yesterday when i was busy battling myself on whether i was ready to give the world up for our awesome Creator... here i am again... what can i say?

i'm dragging my feet, almost crawling... Loving Him gets tough sometimes. He's so close yet so far away. Sometimes i can literally feel His love in my heart, the next i'm asking Him where He is or if He can even hear me

Trust me, this is where i wanna be... this is where i need to be. Even when i've fallen there's something in me that won't let Him go.

I guess the thing is this relationship needs my devotion and commitment. At times i feel like going down on my knees and saying, "God, I can't. I'm in over my head with You. You're too great for me and i feel like i'm not worth it so why should i even try? I keep making the same mistakes over and over, i feel like i'm at the same place You found me. I have nothing to offer. I'm so close to giving up. I'm so close to letting go"

I've come too far to turn back now. I've given Him my heart and i don't want it back, i want Him to fix and repair it; i don't want Him to do alot with it, just touching it is enough for me.

I know He's here... somewhere, He's here.

Do you know how I feel?